Slichot

I’m not ready for summer to have ended. We are now two weeks past Labor Day and the tomatoes we planted are just starting to ripen; they went into the ground late. As if to mock our tardiness, the gourds that we didn’t plant are large and continue to grow all over the garden, a constant reminder that fall has arrived. It rained for four days last week and the crisp air blowing through the open windows smells like fall. I have even spotted the first tell tale colored leaves lying seemingly innocently enough on the still green lawn. The Jewish calendar seems to corroborate mother earth’s decision to change seasons. Tonight is Slichot the service that says: Hello! Wake up! Rosh Hashanah is less than a week away! Send out your cards! Figure out where you’re eating! Order the fish tray for Yom Kippur! And schedule the cleaning service! These, of course, are the superficial messages of the season. The real message is to evaluate myself.

Whom have I wronged a little by neglecting their phone calls or e-mail?
Whom did I wrong so badly that it makes my stomach wrench thinking about my egregious behavior?
What friends did I drop for no reason?
What family did I ignore?

How did I fail to support my spouse?
When did I fail to honor my parents?
When did I hurt those closest to me?
Did I apologize when I acted poorly to those I love?

How could I have been a better coworker?
When could I have been kinder to those I supervise?
How has my body language deceived me?
When have I been thoughtless with my words?

How did my actions fail to uphold my beliefs?
When did I make choices that compromised the things I value most?
When did I act greedily?
How did I overlook the blessings I have?

How did I fail others?
How did I fail myself?
How did I fail God?
For all these things, forgive me, pardon me, and grant me atonement.